But whenever the tiniest thing happens everyone around me (meaning my mom, dad and girlfriend) always jump to the worst conclusions.
Like for instance I had a conversation with my girlfriend a while ago about the fact that I refuse to change the way I dress just so I can work. I mean, we’re already visually oriented enough, what does my appearance (as long as I keep it clean of course) tell you about what I can do? So I wear shirts with bands on them like Iron Maiden, Tool and others and don’t wear a suit, does that seriously imply that my knowledge and skill are less then the person standing next to me?
Does my long hair imply that I am a stupid headbanger that wouldn’t know the difference between what must be done and what I want to do?
I’m sick of people thinking in such closed minded ways. I still get frustrated when I think about times my parents talked about ‘wrong’ or ‘bad’ people or that they’re better then others.
Anyway, because of that conversation my girlfriend is now worried that I’m closing myself off from the world again just because I refuse to take a job working at a festival. It’s in Belgium, I have trouble understanding Belgians from time to time already and I have even more trouble understanding anyone at all when there is a lot of noise or even people around, so what would happen if I worked there? I’d have to ask every single person 20x what they were saying and by the time I understand them they’d be sick and tired of it and I’d probably be fired anyway. But just because I have those fears and my girlfriend doesn’t seem to fully understand them she’s thinking that I’m gonna quit school again and close myself off from my friends and everyone around me and hide in my little cave of a room again.
This time it is different, it truly is. First time, high school, was too general, I learned a bit of everything (like everyone does) and nothing that you can actually use for work, just things you can use for learning things to use for work, I didn’t enjoy it. Then I was doing something that I liked a little more, IT, but the course I was taking was more paperwork then anything else, there was no challenge and in the end it was only a means to an end. This time around though I am where I want to be, like I said before I finished my 2nd time of school after 3 years or so and this made it possible to actually do what it was that I started that course for in the first place.
Now, even better, they’ve offered me a chance to get some real programming experience and even though it’s tough and I have to study hard, it’s very interesting!
So seriously, how big is the chance that I will quit again? I don’t even do drugs or drink or even smoke or anything!
Sometimes people should really just be left alone. If you know someone that seems to try hard and gets very annoyed every time you bring their past up, just take a step back and watch it for another day, sometimes we can actually get through things…